Tomato Resistant Armor

I guess most people don’t think of armor in connection with tomatoes …. Most of you have not been on the receiving end of a thrown tomato  … or even a throne tomato …. A throne tomato is fit for a King … no, not the Burger King … he has a different set of rules …..  When you deal with the Burger King you might need to pay extra for the tomato …or maybe not ….  well, it depends on what you order  …. “I would like a strawberry shake with extra tomatoes” .

… you usually do have to pay extra for the cheese ….

Don’t be like the guy who ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese ….. it costs a little more than a regular hamburger … he did it for prestige …. A cheeseburger is much more prestigious than a regular hamburger.  …. This is what he was thinking as he ordered … “I would like a prestige burger without the prestige”

One Sunday afternoon I was preparing a tomato salad  … I just needed a quick snack. …. My recipe is  …. Cut up a bunch of tomatoes and put gobs of mayonnaise on them … then slurp a lot while eating it  … it’s real juicy.

I was wearing a long sleeve white shirt and a tie … I didn’t want to the hassle of changing the shirt because I was leaving soon ….  I didn’t want to stain the shirt with tomato innards …. I considered an apron  ….  no, incomplete coverage  ….   Then I considered a bib … all of my bibs are too small for this job …. I thought  … hmmmmm …. I wish I had a great big towel with a hole in the middle   … the hole is to put my head through  ….. kind of like a poncho …. Then I remembered that I have hands … I would also need holes for my hands  … well that would be kind of clumsy just hands poking out through the holes and the towel dragging all over the process … I would need to put my arms through the holes … but then …  I would need something attached to the towel to protect the white sleeves ….  that involves sewing  … then the solution came to me … I saw this picture in my mind ….  I knew just the thing …. So I went to the closet and got it out …. Yes  …. it would work … I  put on a big shirt.


???? Confused ????

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