wise bits

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Radiating pain

I once heard a doctor talk about a broken arm bone    … he said the pain was radiating up the arm  ….  Now that would have made sense if it was the radius that was broken ….  In this case it was the ulna that was broken  …. I think he should have said the pain was ulnating up the arm …. Why can’t these doctors get their terminology straight ?

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Highway buzzards

Highway buzzards   …   Or is it highway vultures?

Some people use the names of vultures and buzzards interchangeably …. I believe there is a difference …. I suppose that a turkey buzzard is really a turkey vulture.

Years ago I saw a dead turkey vulture on the side of the highway near my house …. I called the biology dude at the university and asked him if he wanted it   … he let his students dissect such things  …. … he did want it, If it was not too badly decomposed … so I put it in a sack and I put the sack in the freezer … at the next opportunity I took the frozen vulture to mister biology professor.

In recent years I have noticed a different kind of buzzard along the side of highways  …. you can see them if you look real close    …   they are about a foot long and lie close together …..   they are becoming pervasive  ….  When you drive your car a little out of your lane, your car starts to vibrate and make a horrible buzzing noise  …. This noise is caused by the new variety of  highway buzzards.

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Reflections on life ….. ….. Or …… “What’s wrong with me?”

I went to Wal-Mart today …

I notice that there is more and more stuff written in Spanish …

I don’t read Spanish very well …

I guess I’m dysMexic …

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Government Counter Culture

The government spends a huge pile of money on counterintelligence.

Wouldn’t it be better if they spent it on counterstupidity?

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Peeling appealing beets

The other day I was peeling some red beets ……they were pretty … if you cook them just right the skins just slide off … unless there is a beet deformity … some beet wart … or some scar tissue that developed as a result of a gopher bite …. I have never noticed a beet zit …. Perhaps beet puberty is real short and I missed the window of opportunity ….

As I was peeling the beets …. I noticed that my hands were a little slimy and extremely red … bright red …. I had received the mark of the beets.

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Wind and doors

Ever notice that when the wind is blowing real hard and you open a door …. The door becomes a sail.   It either smashes the door into you or it rips it out of your hands … the wind has awesome power …. Sharks use the wind to get extra speed … they just stick their top fin out of the water and catch the breeze … that’s why they call it a door sail fin.

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Oxymorons

There is a lot of talk these days about oxymorons …. I don’t know why there is so much prejudice against oxen …. From my experience I see it differently …. most of the morons I know are more like mulemorons or donkeymorons.

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Look again

Ever notice that the woman you are married to is just a little strange …. Especially when the moon is full …. Perhaps she is not what you think … Perhaps she is not all human … perhaps she is a werewife.

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